I sat staring blankly at papers in front of me, eyes glazed not knowing what to do. The bright lights of the huge auditorium shined down to reveal a secret code that had to be deciphered OR ELSE! All that, and I was confined to a tiny writing space of a small fold up desk over my fidgeting legs. I sat for hours...staring, staring, knowing that every second ticking by was becoming a detriment to my life. Then, I realized....I wasn't asleep! If only I could wake up from the horror. Every problem plagued my brain with doubt. Even now, after all I could do has been done, I still have anxiety and I find myself praying for the first time in my life to, "Please, please let me be average, please let me be average!" Damn that Biochemistry graduate course! The countdown now begins for the next torturing hours in that horrid room, all the while with me praying that I will be among those considered "average".
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I still have nightmares that I am late for a test. Then I wake up and I'm so thankful that I'm not in school any more. Every now and then I think that I should go back to school and get a masters degree, but then I remember how much work it is and I quickly distract myself with thoughts of spending the weekend on the lake. I think Heavely Father puts those thoughts into my head when he hasn't heard from me in a while, so I try to make it a point to tell him how awesome it is that he had Lake Anna built for me and also that he helped someone invent motorized watercraft, without wich, all those slalom skis out there would be totally useless. He is an amazing God. I give those of you reading this in Utah permission to work this into your Sundayschool lesson on how Heavely Father thinks of everything.
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